In relation to one of my articles entitled “I choose not to place ‘DIS’ in my ABILITY”, I have a story to tell all of you. So, I was having a chat with one of my closest friends, like we always do, and the topic on relationships & finding a man for me came up. She then said “I’ll introduce you to this one guy I met recently. He’s a nice guy and he’s also looking for a partner”. I agreed and a few days later, she messages him about me. This is roughly how the conversation went between them:
Friend: Hey, wanted to ask, are you still looking for someone? There’s this very close Bahá’í friend of mine whom I’ve known for more than 5 years now, who is also kinda looking for someone.
Guy: Wow that’s good news!! What’s her name?
Friend: Her name is Nadeera! (adds a coupla other details about me)
Then my friend messages me and goes “But babe I didn’t mention to him about your disability and all la. You think I should find out from him first? Cause to me I don’t think it’s necessary. But to other people maybe it is.” to which I replied “Please do! It’s necessary to me. I rather be frank from the start. Plus, that’ll show a man’s true character and say a lot about him.”
She then proceeds to tell him that I’m in a wheelchair and asks if he’s comfortable with that or not. She also attaches a picture of me with my permission [a fabulous pic by the way 💁🏻♀️]. Attached herewith was the response that followed:
My friend could not believe it. She was just too shocked at his response. She said she didn’t probe further because she just found it “too ridiculous”. I felt so very touched and loved by her reaction & her words, but this is what I told her: “This isn’t the first time I am hearing such a response. This is the reality I, and many other differently-abled people like myself, have to face. It’s become something we all have gotten so used to. When it actually shouldn’t be the case.” In fact, you guys can read the blog post I’ve inserted at the top of this article, I’ve shared another similar experience too.
Just to be clear though, I’m not sharing this to gain your sympathy. I’m sharing this to create more awareness and to remind everyone that despite what you see with your naked eye, we are all mere souls that come from the exact same Source.
A famous author Ilyasah Shabazz once said, “We are simply spirits in a shell. The body is merely a covering, a casement for the soul.” Isn’t this so true? Think about it! We don’t need our bodies when we leave this world. So why does it matter how we look like?
Moreover, it’s really sad to see people judge a differently-abled person so quickly. When people look at us, all they see is ‘Oh man! It’s going to be so challenging to date her!! Oh, I have to take care of her. Oh, I need a lot of money! Etcetera etcetera… ”Um hello, we can make our own money, ain’t nobody need yours 🙄“
I get it that it’s extra challenging to be with a physically challenged person. I’m not denying that. But beyond those challenges, there may be something wonderful you’re missing out on. As the saying goes, ‘you’ll never know if you never try’. So to all of you so called “normally-abled” people out there, a humble request. Please don’t be so quick to judge what you see on the surface. Look Within, look Above and Beyond. You’ll never know what you may find. Perhaps you’ll find something you’ve never found before. Perhaps you may even find something you’ve always been looking for. 🙃
And to those of you’ll who has a so called “disability” of some sort (as our society puts it), continue to SHINE. Be Brave, Be Bold, Be You! 😉
Your Imperfect Nut